Earlier today I retweeted @caitlinmoran because like a lot of people I follow, I don't always agree with her but I'm getting sick of the hate I see in my TL towards her & many others who're trying to effect change.
I don't quite agree with the Report Abuse button because it itself is open to abuse, but in the same breath I'm sick of the derogatory comments &/or threats of any degree made to all, including (but not exclusive to) women, minorities of any kind, atheists, agnostics, members of all religions, undecideds, transgender, transvestites, or whoever the fuck an individual may be.
I am all for the freedom of speech, even if the ideas etc. are anathema to me. If I wish someone to be silenced because their ideals make me sick to my stomach, then I should be silenced too. I didn't take part in yesterday's #TwitterSilence because despite my supporting its foundation, do not agree with being silenced because of vicious members of society wish people not to be equal.
In Orwell's Animal Farm*, those in power paid lip service to the idea that everyone is equal. That's not true in today's society & until it is, people trying to effect equality should not be silenced because those trying to prevent equality will not be silenced either.
I don't know what the answer is, and I doubt I ever will. A lot of people who are much cleverer than I could ever hope to be have written extensively on this subject. My thoughts are those which are not researched, terribly well thought-out or comprehensive. I don't write much about the important issues any more (not that I ever did with much dedication). But this past few weeks has driven me to it**. I hope I'll never do is lose sight of the problem and hope I never end up on the wrong side of history.
*English Literature GCSE, don't fail me now!
**now look what you made me do!
Showing posts with label Twitter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Twitter. Show all posts
Monday, 5 August 2013
Friday, 28 December 2012
En Français
As many if you poor sods what done follow me on the twitters for a bit may've realised, that despite a tenuous grasp on the French language that makes Del Boy look fluent*, I regularly submit, for your delectation, choice tidbits from what appears in my timeline.
These include, but are not limited to, epithets, made-up words, adjectives, nouns, portmanteaus, verbs, Spoonerisms and even entire tweets du jour.
A few of you have even submitted tweets for my consideration, which misguidedly leads me to believe I am a comic genius.
*modest face*
Not ten minutes ago I logged on like the wanton twitter addict I am for my latest fix, to be greeted with a submission not just for tweet du jour, nor even tweet du semaine**, but tweet de l'année***.
I clicked like a mad, clicking thing and was greeted with one hell of a tweet. Not only does it contain a worthy entry for epithet du jour, but it lays into that most hated of species: TORIES! (The children! Won't someone think of the children?!)
Without further ado, I present to you, 2012's Tweet of the Year!
Oh, the person who submitted it? One @jodieohdoh. Follow her.
*Chaise longue, Raquel. Chaise longue.
**I totally had to Google that.
***but not that. Get me.
These include, but are not limited to, epithets, made-up words, adjectives, nouns, portmanteaus, verbs, Spoonerisms and even entire tweets du jour.
A few of you have even submitted tweets for my consideration, which misguidedly leads me to believe I am a comic genius.
*modest face*
Not ten minutes ago I logged on like the wanton twitter addict I am for my latest fix, to be greeted with a submission not just for tweet du jour, nor even tweet du semaine**, but tweet de l'année***.
I clicked like a mad, clicking thing and was greeted with one hell of a tweet. Not only does it contain a worthy entry for epithet du jour, but it lays into that most hated of species: TORIES! (The children! Won't someone think of the children?!)
Without further ado, I present to you, 2012's Tweet of the Year!
Oh, the person who submitted it? One @jodieohdoh. Follow her.
*Chaise longue, Raquel. Chaise longue.
**I totally had to Google that.
***but not that. Get me.
Monday, 20 February 2012
The Futility of Politics
A few years ago I couldn't give a toss about politics. Even after I reached voting age and was determined to use my right (people have died to give me the chance to have my say) I still wasn't at all fascinated. To date I have always voted Liberal Democrat and could be heard to say that "they were the best of a bad bunch".
I started to give a miniscule rat's arse about the policies of those whom we elect to be in power roughly five years ago. These people, who were all but faceless to me, are the ones we put in a job with a salary in excess of £50,000 and whom we trust to make the right choices for us as a population.
Then Twitter threw itself into my path. I signed up without really giving it a second thought. It was another way to keep in touch with online friends. Soon I upgraded to a smartphone which really started my tweeting frenzy which hasn't really let up in the two years since.
I've used Twitter has a place to have a ruddy good old rant about myriad subjects. It's a forum away from The Book of Faces where a lot of my relatives can see my status updates, and gives me the chance to spout my liberal tirades away from the more right-wing tendencies of certain members of my family.
As is the nature of time and its passing, the 2010 General Election hove into sight and I leapt into the fray behind Nick Clegg without a backwards glance. I followed his account, my then-MP's account, Chris Huhne's and the Winchester candidate's, these latter two being the next closest constituencies to mine.
I fully believed that the Lib Dems stood a jolly good chance of getting their most decent showing for absolutely ages and that David Cameron was an abhorrent windbag who wouldn’t be able to fight very well against the living memory of 18 years of his bloody party before Tony Blair.
Okay, so Cameron didn’t win an outright majority, though to listen to him prattle on you’d think so – uh, Mr Cameron, if you did, why the hell did you have to form a coalition government? Oh yeah. BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T GET A MAJORITY OF SEATS.
For the week following the election, I had great hope that a coalition would be formed between Labour, the Lib Dems and the few others here and there that would’ve created a majority of seats. After all, wasn’t everything Mr Clegg pointing towards his party’s policies being of a similar lefty bent as Labour’s? Gordon Brown remaining as Prime Minister was a much more palatable prospect than a bloody right-wing, privileged toff in No. 10.
I’m a damned fool. Of course Clegg got in bed with Cameron. After all, the Lib Dems are SUCH a match with the Tories. Aren’t they? Yes. I was shocked, I was absolutely dismayed when the news of a deal broke, and hated the sight of that press conference in the garden. I remained somewhat hopeful though. We were all told in the news that there were deal breakers in the formation of the coalition government; that the Lib Dems would temper the heavy-handedness of the Tory policies.
Bollocks.
We’re coming up on two years down the line and not a week has passed without some new Cameron-backed policy being trumpeted in the right wing press, derided in the lefty papers or sneaked out as quietly as possible because it’s total lunacy.
And what do we see of the Lib Dems? In recent weeks, not much at all of Mr Clegg (or the spineless wonder I now believe is a more fitting, if not to say polite, name for him). And of the others in the cabinet? Seemingly wheeled out when a boorish Tory needs someone to take the flack for some rotten pile of codswallop.
We’ve had, among others:
Two sets of riots
Strike action
Job cuts
Rising unemployment
The economic recovery seems to be resident in the same realm as the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny
Local budget cuts leading to the closure of libraries and the withdrawal of services
Cuts to benefits for the most vulnerable members of society
Effective cuts to the budget of the BBC
Reams of rhetoric telling us there is no money for any of this
An Olympics which is costing billions yet which we are told ad nauseam will plough even more back into the economy
A royal wedding which was also a drain on the public coffers and which we were also told would generate a lot of revenue (but the extra bank holiday we were given has since been blamed by Gideon as the reason for another quarter of poor growth)
The potential sale of forests
A bible being given to every school pupil (even though ‘there’s no money’)
And the effective privatisation of the NHS, an institution which has seen the improvement in the health of the less well off in this country, of which there must be hundreds of thousands.
How are the Lib Dems tempering the Tory’s running roughshod over those of us (and there are a LOT of us) who were not born with silver spoons jammed up our arses? And with Mr Cameron giving Alex Salmond even more firepower to progress the split of Scotland from the UK, I just can’t see how the rest of us can fight off further Tory governments without the aid of Labour constituencies in that fine country. In my constituency, Labour really don’t stand a chance, it’s either LD or Tory.
So right now, I can’t help but think, what's the bloody point? Why should I care anymore? I’ve always used my vote but look where that’s got us. I’m thoroughly ashamed I appear to have wasted it on the Liberal Democrats because of the government we’ve been landed with thanks to Mr Spineless-Wonder, yet had I voted Labour that would’ve been wasted too. Plus, on the day of the election, how was I to know that Spineless was even more of a lying shit that I assumed many politicians to be already?
So tell me. What is the bloody point in caring anymore? Because I don’t fucking well know.
I started to give a miniscule rat's arse about the policies of those whom we elect to be in power roughly five years ago. These people, who were all but faceless to me, are the ones we put in a job with a salary in excess of £50,000 and whom we trust to make the right choices for us as a population.
Then Twitter threw itself into my path. I signed up without really giving it a second thought. It was another way to keep in touch with online friends. Soon I upgraded to a smartphone which really started my tweeting frenzy which hasn't really let up in the two years since.
I've used Twitter has a place to have a ruddy good old rant about myriad subjects. It's a forum away from The Book of Faces where a lot of my relatives can see my status updates, and gives me the chance to spout my liberal tirades away from the more right-wing tendencies of certain members of my family.
As is the nature of time and its passing, the 2010 General Election hove into sight and I leapt into the fray behind Nick Clegg without a backwards glance. I followed his account, my then-MP's account, Chris Huhne's and the Winchester candidate's, these latter two being the next closest constituencies to mine.
I fully believed that the Lib Dems stood a jolly good chance of getting their most decent showing for absolutely ages and that David Cameron was an abhorrent windbag who wouldn’t be able to fight very well against the living memory of 18 years of his bloody party before Tony Blair.
Okay, so Cameron didn’t win an outright majority, though to listen to him prattle on you’d think so – uh, Mr Cameron, if you did, why the hell did you have to form a coalition government? Oh yeah. BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T GET A MAJORITY OF SEATS.
For the week following the election, I had great hope that a coalition would be formed between Labour, the Lib Dems and the few others here and there that would’ve created a majority of seats. After all, wasn’t everything Mr Clegg pointing towards his party’s policies being of a similar lefty bent as Labour’s? Gordon Brown remaining as Prime Minister was a much more palatable prospect than a bloody right-wing, privileged toff in No. 10.
I’m a damned fool. Of course Clegg got in bed with Cameron. After all, the Lib Dems are SUCH a match with the Tories. Aren’t they? Yes. I was shocked, I was absolutely dismayed when the news of a deal broke, and hated the sight of that press conference in the garden. I remained somewhat hopeful though. We were all told in the news that there were deal breakers in the formation of the coalition government; that the Lib Dems would temper the heavy-handedness of the Tory policies.
Bollocks.
We’re coming up on two years down the line and not a week has passed without some new Cameron-backed policy being trumpeted in the right wing press, derided in the lefty papers or sneaked out as quietly as possible because it’s total lunacy.
And what do we see of the Lib Dems? In recent weeks, not much at all of Mr Clegg (or the spineless wonder I now believe is a more fitting, if not to say polite, name for him). And of the others in the cabinet? Seemingly wheeled out when a boorish Tory needs someone to take the flack for some rotten pile of codswallop.
We’ve had, among others:
Two sets of riots
Strike action
Job cuts
Rising unemployment
The economic recovery seems to be resident in the same realm as the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny
Local budget cuts leading to the closure of libraries and the withdrawal of services
Cuts to benefits for the most vulnerable members of society
Effective cuts to the budget of the BBC
Reams of rhetoric telling us there is no money for any of this
An Olympics which is costing billions yet which we are told ad nauseam will plough even more back into the economy
A royal wedding which was also a drain on the public coffers and which we were also told would generate a lot of revenue (but the extra bank holiday we were given has since been blamed by Gideon as the reason for another quarter of poor growth)
The potential sale of forests
A bible being given to every school pupil (even though ‘there’s no money’)
And the effective privatisation of the NHS, an institution which has seen the improvement in the health of the less well off in this country, of which there must be hundreds of thousands.
How are the Lib Dems tempering the Tory’s running roughshod over those of us (and there are a LOT of us) who were not born with silver spoons jammed up our arses? And with Mr Cameron giving Alex Salmond even more firepower to progress the split of Scotland from the UK, I just can’t see how the rest of us can fight off further Tory governments without the aid of Labour constituencies in that fine country. In my constituency, Labour really don’t stand a chance, it’s either LD or Tory.
So right now, I can’t help but think, what's the bloody point? Why should I care anymore? I’ve always used my vote but look where that’s got us. I’m thoroughly ashamed I appear to have wasted it on the Liberal Democrats because of the government we’ve been landed with thanks to Mr Spineless-Wonder, yet had I voted Labour that would’ve been wasted too. Plus, on the day of the election, how was I to know that Spineless was even more of a lying shit that I assumed many politicians to be already?
So tell me. What is the bloody point in caring anymore? Because I don’t fucking well know.
You will never find a more wretched
hive of scum and villany.
hive of scum and villany.
Friday, 18 November 2011
Shooting Stars
You may be aware of the terrible news this week that the BBC are not commissioning any further series of Shooting Stars. I found out from Bob Mortimer's tweet on Tuesday, and here's the BBC news report to rub it in a little more. (I know in the grand scheme of things, it pales in comparison to war, famine et al.)
This has made me an unhappy bunny. I'm not alone either. On the Twitters, a flurry of tweets from famous types including such luminaries as Al Murray, Peter Serafinowicz and and Mark Gatiss hit the mark much more succinctly than my own "WT FUCKING F?! This makes not #POTBBC :-(". (#POTBBC is a hashtag which stands for 'Proud of the BBC'.)
Inspired by the official Shooting Stars Twitter account (click for the tweet), I have logged a complaint with Auntie:
I am extremely dismayed to learn of the corporation's decision not to commission further series of Shooting Stars.
First, let me state that I am a great supported of the BBC in all its formats & firmly believe the cuts foisted upon it by the Tories are abhorrent & uncalled-for.
However, Messrs Moir & Mortimer are two of the UK's greatest surreal comedians who deserve better treatment than this. Their show is hysterical to say the least. Their treatment of celebrities is irresistible yet by cancelling the programme, will be.
Although other panel shows such as Mock The Week and Have I Got News For You provide much-needed levity in these severe times, they do not fill the niche which ‘Stars does. It is unique, original and fantastically absurd. Where else can one view a full half-hour of such outside of an Eddie Izzard or Bill Bailey concert?
I urge you to seriously reconsider the decision, taking into consideration the argument that Shooting Stars is hardly a panel show in the general sense of the term.
Want to join in? You can contact the corporation directly here. I don't see the harm in you taking part in the Radio Times' poll here either.
This has made me an unhappy bunny. I'm not alone either. On the Twitters, a flurry of tweets from famous types including such luminaries as Al Murray, Peter Serafinowicz and and Mark Gatiss hit the mark much more succinctly than my own "WT FUCKING F?! This makes not #POTBBC :-(". (#POTBBC is a hashtag which stands for 'Proud of the BBC'.)
Inspired by the official Shooting Stars Twitter account (click for the tweet), I have logged a complaint with Auntie:
I am extremely dismayed to learn of the corporation's decision not to commission further series of Shooting Stars.
First, let me state that I am a great supported of the BBC in all its formats & firmly believe the cuts foisted upon it by the Tories are abhorrent & uncalled-for.
However, Messrs Moir & Mortimer are two of the UK's greatest surreal comedians who deserve better treatment than this. Their show is hysterical to say the least. Their treatment of celebrities is irresistible yet by cancelling the programme, will be.
Although other panel shows such as Mock The Week and Have I Got News For You provide much-needed levity in these severe times, they do not fill the niche which ‘Stars does. It is unique, original and fantastically absurd. Where else can one view a full half-hour of such outside of an Eddie Izzard or Bill Bailey concert?
I urge you to seriously reconsider the decision, taking into consideration the argument that Shooting Stars is hardly a panel show in the general sense of the term.
Want to join in? You can contact the corporation directly here. I don't see the harm in you taking part in the Radio Times' poll here either.
Friday, 4 March 2011
What’s a hashtag?
What’s a hashtag?
If you tweet "I am watching Mythbusters LOL" tap on that tweet, you will see no blue text meaning there is a link like an URL or similar.
If you tweet "This is the website that was just on Mythbusters www.lolz.com", tap on that tweet and you will see the web address itself is a hyperlink as it does in MS Word.
If you tweet "I am watching #Mythbusters LOL", tap on that tweet, you will see that the word Mythbusters and the preceding hash symbol have turned blue. The hash symbol preceding any combination of letters and numbers will turn those into a kind of hyperlink provided there are no spaces or other punctuation marks (@!"£$%^&*()\<>?:@~}{][#’;,./¬€).
This is called a hashtag. *cue angelic choir*
No, a hashtag.
If you press the hashtag from your (or any tweet containing one) it will then bring up, in chronological order starting with the most recent, all tweets containing that hashtag. That timeline of tweets will mostly be about the same subject. That is also why hashtags tend to be made of words which will define the search better than others.
Are hashtags used only for television shows?
No. I have used television as an example but hashtags can be used for anything. If you hashtag something uncommon or spelt incorrectly, your tweet might be the only result in the timeline.
Does a hashtag have to be a single word?
No. It can be any words, any combination of letters and/or numbers up to 139 characters long. Although tweets are up to 140 characters long, if you want your whole tweet to be a hashtag, you need one character for the hash symbol itself.
Can my hashtag contain upper and lowercase letters?
Yes. It can be all lower case, all upper case or a combination of both. Personally I find if you are creating a hashtag out of two or more words, I capitalise the start of each word to make it easier to read each individual word, e.g. #ThisIsAHashtag
I see some television shows are displaying a hashtag on screen at the start of programmes. What’s that about?
Increasingly more and more live transmissions are getting audience feedback and input (such as questions for a guest) via Twitter. By displaying a hashtag on screen, it encourages viewers to use the same hashtag instead of a variety, all of which are perfectly relevant but would mean the show would have to keep refreshing the timeline on several hashtags, and might not capture all the hashtags in use. Of course this does not prevent viewers from ignoring the onscreen prompt but know that the people working on the show probably won’t see what you think about the programme.
There are some pre-recorded programmes which also display a hashtag. Again the people working on the show are probably gaining feedback but the tweets will not have any effect on the programme you are watching at that time.
Some programmes with hashtags displayed on screen
Question Time #BBCQT
Newsnight #Newsnight
Have I Got News For You #BBCHIGNFY (this is an example of the programme makers coming up with a hashtag for its vierwers to use without looking to see if one was already in use, which it was: #HIGNFY, and I noticed during the latest series, both hashtags being used as much as the other)
10 O’Clock Live #10OClockLive
Other unofficial programme hashtags
Top Gear #TopGear
Wonders of the Solar System & Wonders of the Universe #Wonders (this did not appear on screen during the broadcast of Wonders of the Solar System but Professor Brian Cox has tweeted himself that #Wonders is the hashtag for both shows)
Glee #Glee
Something For The Weekend #SFTW (this show asks its viewers to submit questions to the guests by tweeting an @reply to their account @SFTW, without seeming to realise they can get the same by using the unofficial hashtag)
The Big Bang Theory #TBBT
The IT Crowd #TheITCrowd
My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding #BigFatGypsyWedding / #BFGW
I recommend trial and error to find out what the common hashtag is for your chosen viewing.
Now I’m watching a live broadcast of Newsnight, what do I get out of putting the #Newsnight hashtag in my tweet?
Press the hashtag in your tweet to bring up the timeline of fellow users tweeting during the duration (or even after) of the show. You can then refresh this by dragging down the timeline the same way you refresh your general timeline. You then get to read what fellow viewers think of the show. It’s like dissecting a programme at the water cooler the next day but without having to wait then find a colleague who has seen the same programme.
If you tweet "I am watching Mythbusters LOL" tap on that tweet, you will see no blue text meaning there is a link like an URL or similar.
If you tweet "This is the website that was just on Mythbusters www.lolz.com", tap on that tweet and you will see the web address itself is a hyperlink as it does in MS Word.
If you tweet "I am watching #Mythbusters LOL", tap on that tweet, you will see that the word Mythbusters and the preceding hash symbol have turned blue. The hash symbol preceding any combination of letters and numbers will turn those into a kind of hyperlink provided there are no spaces or other punctuation marks (@!"£$%^&*()\<>?:@~}{][#’;,./¬€).
This is called a hashtag. *cue angelic choir*
No, a hashtag.
If you press the hashtag from your (or any tweet containing one) it will then bring up, in chronological order starting with the most recent, all tweets containing that hashtag. That timeline of tweets will mostly be about the same subject. That is also why hashtags tend to be made of words which will define the search better than others.
Imagine if you wanted to do a Google search on ‘Mythbusters television show’ and typed in ‘television show’. That would bring back results on myriad programmes and not the one you wanted. If you typed in ‘Mythbusters television show’ then it would narrow down to relevant results. The same goes for hashtags. If you tweet "I am watching Mythbusters #television show LOL" or "I am watching Mythbusters television #show LOL" your tweets would not be as relevant to the programme as tweeting "I am watching #Mythbusters television show LOL".
Why should I tweet with a hashtag?
To best explain this, remember that Twitter is a social networking site. Though it is not face to face, users are interacting with each other socially through a network. You add a hashtag to your tweet if you want it to be seen by other users who are searching on that hashtag, so you connect with a wider network than just those whom you follow and follow you.
Are hashtags used only for television shows?
No. I have used television as an example but hashtags can be used for anything. If you hashtag something uncommon or spelt incorrectly, your tweet might be the only result in the timeline.
Does a hashtag have to be a single word?
No. It can be any words, any combination of letters and/or numbers up to 139 characters long. Although tweets are up to 140 characters long, if you want your whole tweet to be a hashtag, you need one character for the hash symbol itself.
Can my hashtag contain upper and lowercase letters?
Yes. It can be all lower case, all upper case or a combination of both. Personally I find if you are creating a hashtag out of two or more words, I capitalise the start of each word to make it easier to read each individual word, e.g. #ThisIsAHashtag
I see some television shows are displaying a hashtag on screen at the start of programmes. What’s that about?
Increasingly more and more live transmissions are getting audience feedback and input (such as questions for a guest) via Twitter. By displaying a hashtag on screen, it encourages viewers to use the same hashtag instead of a variety, all of which are perfectly relevant but would mean the show would have to keep refreshing the timeline on several hashtags, and might not capture all the hashtags in use. Of course this does not prevent viewers from ignoring the onscreen prompt but know that the people working on the show probably won’t see what you think about the programme.
There are some pre-recorded programmes which also display a hashtag. Again the people working on the show are probably gaining feedback but the tweets will not have any effect on the programme you are watching at that time.
Some programmes with hashtags displayed on screen
Question Time #BBCQT
Newsnight #Newsnight
Have I Got News For You #BBCHIGNFY (this is an example of the programme makers coming up with a hashtag for its vierwers to use without looking to see if one was already in use, which it was: #HIGNFY, and I noticed during the latest series, both hashtags being used as much as the other)
10 O’Clock Live #10OClockLive
Other unofficial programme hashtags
Top Gear #TopGear
Wonders of the Solar System & Wonders of the Universe #Wonders (this did not appear on screen during the broadcast of Wonders of the Solar System but Professor Brian Cox has tweeted himself that #Wonders is the hashtag for both shows)
Glee #Glee
Something For The Weekend #SFTW (this show asks its viewers to submit questions to the guests by tweeting an @reply to their account @SFTW, without seeming to realise they can get the same by using the unofficial hashtag)
The Big Bang Theory #TBBT
The IT Crowd #TheITCrowd
My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding #BigFatGypsyWedding / #BFGW
I recommend trial and error to find out what the common hashtag is for your chosen viewing.
Now I’m watching a live broadcast of Newsnight, what do I get out of putting the #Newsnight hashtag in my tweet?
Press the hashtag in your tweet to bring up the timeline of fellow users tweeting during the duration (or even after) of the show. You can then refresh this by dragging down the timeline the same way you refresh your general timeline. You then get to read what fellow viewers think of the show. It’s like dissecting a programme at the water cooler the next day but without having to wait then find a colleague who has seen the same programme.
Note: This was written using Mythbusters as an example as the person I wrote it for LOVES that programme.
Monday, 26 April 2010
Charity Event
Tickets now on sale for the Naomi House Eastleigh Committee's Pig Racing on Friday 14th May at 7.30pm. £7 adult ticket, £4 child ticket or £20 family ticket (2 adults & 2 children). Price includes a Ploughman's.
Evening also includes Guess the Name of the Dog (50p per go) and a raffle &/or auction. Prizes include donations from Paultons Park, Beaulieu Motor Museum, Southampton FC, Fleming Park Leisure Centre, David Lloyd, Longdown Activity Farm, Romsey Fotografix and Cook Academy ( www.cookacademy.co.uk ) Venue Eastleigh Irish Club, Station Hill (opposite Eastleigh Central train station).
Leave a comment for tickets and/or posters to help us advertise the event, with your questions or follow me on Twitter, username @thesaharadesert .
Friday, 17 July 2009
Twitter FAQ
I wrote this for a friend today, and I want to share, because I'm that kind of gal! I make no apologies for errors contained.
The Sahara Desert Twitter FAQ
WTF is this Twitter malarky?!
You know the status update part of Facebook? To put it bluntly, Twitter's literally just that but without all the spammy advertising, "do you like this" thumbs up/down bollocks, applications, photo albums etc.
How do I get friends?
You don't. Not because you're a loser but because they're not called that on Twitter. Instead, you follow people whose updates you want to read, and you get followers who want to see your updates. Sounds very cult-ish but so far I've not seen Twitter catch fire like David Koresh's Waco HQ.
Jaysus, I don't want every Tom, Dick and Pervy Pete seeing my witty, intelligent updates! Twitter can go spin.
Don't be so hasty! If you have a protected account, someone may request to follow you and see your updates and you can approve or tell them where to shove their adoration as you see fit.
Well that's okay! I'm being very stalkery and am following eleventy billion other users. Is there a special name for their updates as I see them when I log in?
Yes! It's called a feed. This also appears when you click 'Home' at the top of the screen.
Like a pig trough?
No. Stop being stupid.
Sorry. Are there any other names I should know?
If you like. Voila! One vocabulary.
An update is a tweet
A common form of addressing your followers in a tweet is to call them Tweeple
You can see how someone you're following made a tweet: under their text it will say "8 [or whenever] minutes ago from" followed by the method they used:
web (updated on Twitter itself)
TweetDeck (a download designed for tweeting)
Tweetr (a download designed for tweeting) - you can see more downloads here http://twitter.com/downloads
txt (sending a text to your account)
I want to reply to someone's tweet because I have a clever insight to impart. How can I make sure they see it?
Start your tweet off with @ followed by their username ie: @twitterperson (that's a made-up user by the way) then write your message. A quick way of doing this is to click on the little grey arrow which appears when you move your cursor over a tweet. However, this does not guarantee the other person will see your tweet - you also have to rely on them checking their @ replies.
How do I check any @ replies I might have?
Click on the @[your username] link on the right hand side of your screen.
I want to bitch about all but one of my followers but I want to keep it private. Help!
Click into Direct Messages, select the follower you wish to message from the drop-down box, then write your message in the box.
I've seen a lot of people following someone pretending to be Stephen Fry. It's an imposter, right?
No, it's really, really Mister Fry of QI, Blackadder and Jeeves & Wooster fame.
Why does everyone but me follow Stephen Fry?
Because he's erudite, funny, intelligent, technologically savvy, and because we can't think for ourselves.
So are there any other 'tweeple' who have waltzed with Lady Fame?
Yes. This site is handy if you want to go into stalker mode: http://celebsthattwitter.com/The_List.html
I found the funniest website ever, and I want to tell my followers about it, but Twitter only lets me have 140 characters per tweet. This is frustrating, to say the least.
At first, yes, but happily Twitter will automatically reduce the url (the website address) when you click send, and convert it into a shortened url, which, when clicked, will direct the reader to the site you want to show them.
Can I reduce urls myself without relying on Twitter?
Yes. I use Tiny URL: http://www.tiny.cc/ . Follow the instructions on the page, it's very easy.
How can I change the colour of my home page?
Click on Settings (top of page), select the Design tab and go mental.
Some tweeple's pages have designs which aren't in Twitter's range of themes. Tell me I'm not going mad, please!
You're not. Yet. They've got more time than sense and have worked hard at their layouts. You can follow suit should you wish to become a social hermit. On the design tab, scroll down and click Change background image (where you can upload your own purdy picture) and/or Change design colours (where you can change the colours (like what it says in a Cuprinol kinda way)).
Screw that for a game of monkeys, I'm a social butterfly don'tchaknow. Learn me something else, please!
Alright, you impatient sod. From the Settings page you can also update your Account details (email address, username etc), Password (no explanation needed), Devices (so you can tweet by text), Notices (what emails you receive from Twitter), Picture (small square image that appears next to your tweets) and Connections (users who you've allowed to access your account).
I keep seeing the hash symbol in tweeple's tweets. What's that all about?
It's called a Hashtag. They are explained here: http://hashtags.org/ . To put it bluntly, if you are tweeting something you want to get a wider audience than just your followers. Precede a pertinent word in your tweet, such as in a tweet about shit tennis players at the popular annual tournament, #wimbledon, ie: "That Andy Murray's a Brit when he's winning and a Scot when he's a lanky waste of space #wimbledon". That would get more attention than tweeting exactly the same but hashtagging the word 'when'.
Can I see the most popular hashtags?
Yes. On the right of your homepage is Trending Topics. The list shows the most popular topics, and a lot of them are hashtags.
I heard about Twitter a lot in the recent news coverage following the democratic* election in Iran. What happened?
Due to the 'freedom of speech' Iranians have, the demonstrations were apparently organised a lot using Twitter.
Did Twitter blow up?
Not quite. During times of intense media focus (like the Iranian election and the death of Michael Jackson), websites such as Google, Reuters news agency, BBC etc, as well as Twitter have a lot of extra users (or 'traffic') which puts strain on their servers. This causes them to slow down or crash. That presumably prompts the suits to soil their undergarments and IT monkeys to perform their interpretation of the last minutes of a decapitated chicken.
What other websites are there which might be handy in my tweeting adventures?
Each time you refresh your home page on Twitter, on the right hand side (beneath your name, followers, following and updates) is a white box which links to Twitter-related websites. Here are some as well.
http://wefollow.com/
http://www.twellow.com/
http://beta.twittervision.com/
http://blip.fm/
http://www.twittertitters.com/
http://buzz.trazzler.com/
Wow. I feel like I could waste days on Twitter now! Thanks!
Join the club.
*democratic my arse.
This guide was bought to you by the letters Q, Z and the number twelvety.
Wednesday, 8 July 2009
Twitter and the media
Relaxing (does clutching at one's midriff in fear of seeing one's last meal magically reappear count as relaxing?) yesterday evening I was treated to an advertisement break between segments of Ladette to Lady.
Gillian Harbord
Ten pints of White Lightening later she was seen fast asleep in a rhodedendron bush
One of these ads was for Fanta soft drink and I happened to notice in the animation were one or two little cartoon birds.
That got me thinking, on how BBC Three's idents often feature birds and foliage wrapped around, and landing on, the neon tubes.
Now hold up there: a lot of Twitter's images feature cartoon birds and vine-y, twisting foliage.
"Hi Tweeple!"
Also Twitter's a raging success, in terms of a whole heap of people tweeting about similar subjects resulting in the internet blowing up (I think) when a certain Mr Jackson carked it recently, and news agencies trying to get around the constraints put on them by Iranian authorities.
Iran's Ayatollah Khamenei, yesterday
I don’t have a major point here but want to comment in a roundabout way how design teams for various organisations tap into the zeitgeist by ever so subtly plagiarising aspects of a more successful or popular product / website / whatever and hope some of its kudos will rub off on them.
Sub-post: Fulsome Fanta
When I was looking up images for the above entry, Google kindly gave me this glimpse into the abyss of history.
"‘Fanta’ was originally made from apple fibre and a by-product of cheese"
Fizzy milk? Don’t think I'll be enjoying a refreshing glass of that anytime soon. *retch*
http://www.fanta.co.uk/product.html
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