Line painters find a way around road brock

From http://www.salisburyjournal.co.uk/news/8271754.Line_painters_find_a_way_around_road_brock___/?ref=mr

The famous white stripes of the humble badger seem to have been put to an unusual use lately, saving the taxpayer money for paint and council contractors a few seconds on their long days.

Reader Kevin Maul was on his way home from work when he noticed double white lines had been painted on an S bend near the county border on the A338.

Lying sadly amid the fresh paint, however, was a badger who had breathed his last more than a week before.

Mr Maul, who had been posting flyers for his business Lawntender around Fordingbridge and Damerham, said: “I couldn’t quite believe my eyes when I saw him, this poor old badger who had been there over a week.

“I’d seen him every day as I went by and wondered if he was going to be picked up. Then on Friday I drove home to see his body between the lines - they had painted the road, but left a gap where he lay.”

Councillor Mel Kendal, Hampshire County Council’s executive member for environment said: “We would usually liaise with our colleagues at the district council who dispose of animal carcasses on the highways to ensure the badger was removed before the white line painting crew did this stretch of road.

“This appears not to have happened in this case and the white line painting crew did what they thought was best until arrangements could be made to dispose of the carcass.

“These arrangements have now been made and the gap in the white lines will be filled in and at no extra cost to the council taxpayer.”

Badgers again

Alive this time though.

Heard a report on the radio this morning about this story: http://www.rnli.org.uk/rnli_near_you/news/news_detail?articleid=551761&categoryid= on how a badger got stranded at low tide in Cornwall.

Hurray for the RNLI and mental badgers. Bless.

I need to get out more

This is a true story, so names have been changed to protect the identity of my oldest friend.

Once upon a time, Jane and I were heading to the beach for a day of fun in the sun. During the long journey, their car passed a badger which had sadly gone the way of all flesh presumably at the wheels of a motorised vehicle of some kind. Said deceased omnivore was lying at the side of the road, and in a fit of morbid, disgusting behaviour, Jane and I found the animal's passing to be of humourous occurance. Verily they did laugh, losing approximately a year's worth of karmic brownie points in the process.

Suddenly, Jane, at the wheel of their car and therefore should've been demonstrating more road sense, leaned towards the steering wheel, bent both her arms at the elbow outwards and emitted an audible grunting noise. This, she claimed, was her impression of a dead badger. I, being an easily amused type, found this incredibly funny and proceeded to vocalise her mirth with a trademark cackling laugh, interspersed with high-pitched shrieks. This laugh has the unfortunate side-effect of being infectious and it set Jane off laughing too. For a good ten minutes more in the journey, the pair did laugh so, before the muscular contractions such laughing caused pain and aches they had to stop.

Ever since that fateful day, each time either Jane or I saw a dead badger, or were informed of a badger's passing by a friend or relative who had heard of this 'joke', the other would communicate the find to the other at which point more laughter would ensue.

Epilogue: Jane is since married and yet her beloved husband cannot get his head around the concept of his cherished wife and her childhood friend's 'joke'. Things got worse for the poor husband when I purchased a stuffed toy badger and adoption pack for an injured badger rescue centre for Jane as a present a few years ago. Also, my mother has been subject to the hysterics the sight of a deceased mammal that affects her youngest offspring: mother and daughter were returning home as my car passed the late furry woodland creature and I laughed so much my mother had to tell me off so's to concentrate on driving sensibly.

Alas, poor Jane and I are lavished with odd looks and dispairing shakes of people's heads whenever the pair are together and the subject of the monochrome quadrupeds is brought up.

You had to be there, really.