I'm sure I'm not alone in being offered a wide variety of drugs, to refresh my banking details and more untoward subject matter. Those strike me as not willing to put the damned effort in.
However once in a while, an email arrives which, although clearly being nonsense, deserves to be highlighted for the pure comedy value. I received this gem last week. Enjoy!
Hello. How are you today?
I like a nice, polite spammer. Manners don't cost a thing.
Do you remember me? Not so long ago we met on a dating site, you gave me your e-mail.
I've never even visited a dating site, let alone registered with one.
I'm sorry about the little waiting to answer The most important thing that I came in contact with you. I'm looking for just new friends. For fun and companionship.
Harmless enough motive. UNLESS YOU WANT TO WEAR MY SKIN. o_O
My name is Viktoriya, I live in Saint Petersburg.
Ah, mother Russia! Wrap up warm, now.
I am 27 years, and because of my work, I have very little free time to communicate with friends in real life.
Employers just want blood. I'm with you, sister!
So I decided to make friends on the Internet. If you want to make friends with me, I'd be happy to get your answer. In this letter I send you my photo, so you can see other signs of me.
Signs of you? I'm not going to track you, dear. I'm not Chris Packham.
If you are not interested in my friendship, please, let me know about it anyway.
Ah, you're alright love. I've got the voices in my head for company.
And none of us will spend our precious time is wasted. I wish you good mood and good day! After all, our mood is the key to our success.
And there was me thinking the key to success was hard work and all that gubbins.
I am writing to you from your work e-mail,
You... you're writing to me from MY work email? How the fuck did you manage that? WITCHCRAFT!
Answer me on my private email: vikasupina@yahoo.com
Bossy boots.
Viktoriya
Bless 'em, they do try.
Just not hard enough.
Just not hard enough.